yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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