im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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