Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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