i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
