sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
