This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
