You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
