I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
