Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
