I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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