goodnight i made you a song goodbye
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize