All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
