I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
