I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
