oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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