He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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