yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
