They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
did you just send me my own nude
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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