I accidentally had phone sex last night
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
