i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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