The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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