It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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