I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
