Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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