I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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