They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
