What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
