I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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