i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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