I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
