I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
