I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
