question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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