possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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