I'm jealous of your bromance
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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