We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
