I don't remember. Are we still dating?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
