Already got asked if we're dating
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
