i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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