How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize