I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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