I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
