I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
