It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
