He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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