glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
