i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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