you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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