So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
