it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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