I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
