Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
