I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
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