To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize