This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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