My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize