Buhtt sex?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize