he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
