we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
