help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
