I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
