yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
