All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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